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Blog from January, 2017

Somebody just wrote that to me, after i had done something they apparently liked, and my mind started thinking again. It brought together experiences from the past and cultural differences between US and EU cultures. I felt very pleasant sensations after reading that, i felt smart, i felt useful and i wanted to be those sensations, i wanted those to never go away (which, as i know, is a natural and harmful tendency of our brains, because i'm setting my self up for suffering. It's inevitable that this sensation will go away, and so i will be sad when it will.) Anyways, here's what i thought:

I reply "Thank you", and that’s yet another thing that amuses me: how pleasant sensations flow through the body when one hears words like these addressed to one self. And then i think about the many differences btw stereotypical North American and European conversations, where in North America, it is more common to choose more “gentle” or soothing words rather than harsher ones, to express ones point. This certainly happens in the EU as well, but that’s besides the point. The point being that while society has leveraged making use of these soothing sensations to one’s favor, it has not created a way to distinguish between those times in which the nice words are used 100% whole heartedly and others where they have a much smaller heart percentage, maybe more like < 50%.

For example, if think what Tom said was “OK”, then i might tell Tom how incredibly awesome what he said was. What i just did was take that tiny positive sensation and riding on it, amplifying it, letting it grow inside of me in such a way that i can easily blow it up without feeling the guilt of having lied: i didn't lie, right? I really did like some parts of what he said. Then, if i write something nice like that, Tom will most likely feel pleasant sensations and associate those with me, which might benefit me in the long run. (Yep, pretty egoistic thoughts. And i believe it to be the norm as most of us move forward mostly for egoistic needs.).

So now i'm faced with a dilemma: living in ignorance, i would have really 100% believed in these words. Now that i know more about society, i have a reason not to let go and indulge whole heartedly in these words. The person expressed that the person's thoughts were to think that i'm pretty awesome. That's it. That's where it ends. So, while on the one hand, the increased knowledge and awareness has reduced the pleasure of the resulting effects of the words, on the other it has helped me maintain a more balanced mind when hearing them, therefore reducing the amount of future suffering, once the pleasant sensation subsides.

The conclusion is that the stereotypical North American style of communication with pleasant sensation inducing words, for yet another reason, does seem to win over the stereotypical European style of communication, where pleasant sensation inducing words are limited only for when the subject feels them whole-heartedly. So let go of the ego, and use these words/expressions more often, Toni! 

Having pondered on this, i certainly have thanked and still thank the person who wrote this to me, and by no means am i asking for him or her not to express herself/himself like this any longer.